When Reality Hits After Moving Out of State

Obviously by now you realize, I'm no longer a New Yorker 🤪.

My husband and I have been excited for this big move down to Tennessee!  For the past several years, we've made many trips to this wonderful state and decided move our lives to a sleepy little quaint town upon his retirement.

I've had many friends that have moved across the country, but I was never warned of this:

When the silence hits, and your brain processes that you're no longer returning to your previous home: It hits you HARD like a sack of rocks.

It's not because of being somewhere new.  It's the human connections I left behind in New York.  My parents.  My friends.  My neighbors.  My gym community.  My jiujitsu coach.  The baristas I'd see regularly at my favorite coffeehouse.  Since my late twenties, I was an avid Crossfitter.  I went to the same gym religiously for nearly 15 years, and basically created a family there!  I was so invested in this community, that I coached there for 10 years.  

After my first week in Tennessee, my husband had to head back to New York to retrieve more of our belongings (because moving isn't cheap - hence we're doing it ourselves).  I couldn't join him since I had started my full-time career.  

Then, the silence hit.  FUCKING.  HARD.

My brain was overloaded with processing this new life.  It realized that I would no longer be walking through my gym doors any longer.  That my gym community would no longer be just down the road any longer. 

The five minute drive to my parents house would now become bi-annual visits.  Evening gatherings with my friends would no longer occur.

New career, new work team, new personalities, new work location. 

New shock to the system.

Needless to say, I was emotional.

It was pretty much a different form of grieving that I wasn't prepared for.  That the New York version of my life was actual at an end.  And being alone for this was a double whammy.  

Thankfully, we are in the era of smartphones.  I never used FaceTime.  But it was time to actually utilize this app for a purpose.  I FaceTimed my best friend immediately, and talked to her about how I felt for a good two hours.  I had to get my brain to calm down and process these new emotions.  It quite honestly did help.  There's only so many near suffocating hugs I can give Harley (my dog) before she started barking at me annoyingly to leave her alone.

I then spoke with my husband about it, who encouraged me that I'm not completely insane (yet) and what I felt was normal.  We both agreed that I had to start to create a new routine to recreate a sense of normalcy.

As the days passed, I got accustomed to this new reality.  I am slowly making a few friends, and trying to create a new routine similar to my life in New York.  It is a little challenging, since I live in a pretty remote area, but I will complete this mission!  

I FaceTime my family and friends regularly.  I'm back in the gym!  It's a globo-gym which isn't community based, but at least I'm getting fitness in on the regular again.  I am still looking for a jiujitsu gym that has a similar community environment than my last one, and I'm going to stay optimistic about it!

I've been planning on when my family and friends can visit, so I can share the beauty of our new home state.  Hopefully we'll have our home completed by then!